Sorry!

Hi Mom! Wow- it's been crazy here these past few weeks!
Maddie was SO sick, I was in the pediatricians office twice with her! Firsst time was negative strep and possible pneumonia-we were up all nigt for 3 nights. I was beat! she was throwing up, febrile, so uncomfortable. Thank God I am a nurse! I put her in th bath a few times because she was so hot...poor baby was miserable. and we were doing nebulizer treatments every 2-4 hrs because she kept coughing...it was a mess! i called in to work because she was so sick and needed to go back to the MD (Mark was unable to take time off) and while we were there her strep was positive! Halllejulia! We got meds and I went back to work on Saturday. Sunday night after work Charlie came down with it so I waited till Tuesday and his was positive when I brough him in so I got meds for him too. It was the most tiring week and a half since they were born. But they are feeling well now so we're happy!
I miss you so much Mom, and these past weeks I have wanted you so much. I miss you!
I talked to Mark about support/time and we are no longer on good terms. He didn't like my proposal about child suppost even though I had them more than he did, so we are strictly back to our old agreement. I felt as if he was wanting me to be his babysitter and didn't think it was fair. When I talked to him about it he got angry so we are no longer on good terms (as if you didn't see that coming). He has a new girlfriend, and has introduced her to the kids after dating for 6 weeks. And she has a son that has also met the kids too. Mom, I can't deal with this right now. It's killing me...I can't wrap my head around them being with another woman/family....not now. I told him we would have our own parties instead od throwing the together. This is their first birthday without you here...I can't deal with another woman when I don't have you here to celebrate with us. I don't know what the right thing to do is, but I am trying to be the best .mother I can be and provide stability for them. I love them so much it makes my heart ache.
Jimmy had a beautiful little boy...Oliver James! He is adorable and weighed almost as much as Charlie...God help them if he's anything like him, right? (But he'll have a grandmother who adores him like you did!)
And Michelle had a little girl too-Macie Lynn...she's beautiful! The new lives that are being born into our family our amazing mom!
Dad spent the weekend with Michael and will be here on Tuesday!!! The kids and I are so excited!! We can't wait for him and Kelsey to be with us! :) They keep asking if you're coming....I tell them you're always here, but with Baby Jesus all the time.
I spent your birthday with Mary and we had an amazing time celebrating you, Mom. I saw Nikki, and Sarah too-they say hello and happy birthday! I know you clebrated with our families and had an amzaing day-I can't imagine hpw wonderful it was for you!
I know you have met my patients-Doug H.- and hope you are learning alot about each other-he is amazing, and I told him you'd be there for him!
I'm missing you more and more as time goes on, Mom. My heart aches and is sad more than it is happy without you. I know you are with me, I've seen you and felt you with me. Maxine's family thanked me for being her nurse, and when I opened the gift and saw the angel, I know you were there. I just want to hear your voice, and hug you. I have a never ending ache in my heart for you, Mom. I love you so very much and miss you more than you will ever know. I'm looking forward to seeing you around me...I LOVE YOU!!!!!! XOXO Katy